• Kate O'Connor

I thought I was techno-savy...


But today is Day 3 of trying to figure out this website and I'm still none the wiser. My attempts to make my Stories page appear the same as my Blog page are so far unsuccessful. Which is annoying the crap out of me because the current layout is bloody awful. So forgive me for the constant changes that will no doubt be going on over the next few weeks. Turns out, Google does NOT have all the answers.

In other news, I've had the day off work today and have not used it to my advantage. I'm blaming my lack of writing on not having a desk, but I know that's just an excuse. Althought Stephen King does say that it's important to have a writing desk (a small, nondescript yet functional one, in the corner of the room), I'm fairly certain I can still write with my laptop perched on it's namesake. The fact is, I continue to choose not to write. I will read, I will watch TV, I will go to the damn gym, but I won't write. Why? I'm sure it has something to do with my fear of failure. If I actually do write my novel, and try to get it published, then I'm hanging myself right out there for everyone to see my success or failure. Never having been very good with being the (on-purpose) centre of attention, this scares the absolute bejeezus out of me. Safety in staying unnoticed, right? Sure, but that's not going to help me realise my lifelong dream of being a published author. At the same time, if I do get published, what if Stephen King were to read my book and hate it? What if I became one of the authors he uses as a 'what not to do' when he discusses how to write? My heart would be broken and I don't think I could continue to write. Although it's possible that may be for the best, particularly if it turns out that my writing does stink.

So I guess today's theme has mostly been about self-doubt, procrastination and my lack of technological skills. Not an entirely wasted day, but I know that when I go to bed I won't have the sense of achievement I've had the past couple of days. There's one way I know of to avoid the disappointment that would usually follow: whiskey!


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